Tweezerman Tweezers

My week has been very reflective.  It started with a wonderful Bible study.  In my group we are studying about Women of the Bible.  This week we focused on Rebekah.  The study was great, it did not focus on her deception but on her positive qualities that God blessed her with. She was a woman whom was generous, courageous, bold.
 The Study rounded out with us needing to be grateful for the bodies that God gave us and to quit focusing on what we think others think of us.

This morning I was doing my usual "get ready" routine and I was reflecting on this. I took a small trip back in time.

  In my late 20's Duane and I decided it was time to start a family.  We were very excited about this! My family is VERY fertile, it was always said you could look at the opposite sex the wrong way and end up pregnant! So we knew this would be a pretty easy process. Boy were we wrong, each month as I started my period I began to really get down.  We finally went to the doctor, and well wouldn't you know it...it was not going to be easy for us! I have poly-cystic ovaries.  At that point they really were not sure what caused it and doctors were still doing studies to know what could change it.  So we began the process of using fertility pills to try and help us (that is a whole separate post!),we did 3 cycles and each one the doctor felt that everything was perfect, yet I never got pregnant.  In the meantime I began to notice small things that about myself that bothered me.  My hair seemed to be getting a bit coarser and frizzy, I found a black hair on the side of my face!  These may seem like small things, but when you learn that part of your health condition also brings on other side effects (that could enhance as you age), it can  compound and be devastating.  We stopped doing fertility, we moved and I focused on my career.  We were leaving it up to fate, however one thing I noticed was that these sides effect were increasing, each month I had to deal with not only not being pregnant again, but finding more of these random hairs on my face, on my chin, upper lip...It was very demoralizing. This should not happen in your 20's & 30's, right? I imagined these things to happen in my 60's.   To feel like a failure of a women, to feel ugly...to answer to people why don't you have children? To wonder did I pluck that chin hair this morning or is the person I am talking to staring because I missed it!

The Best!

We find it easy to judge people when we don't know what they are going through, "look at her hair", "whats on her face", "she should lose weight".  Why do we do this? We likely do it because we are masking our own insecurities.  We can figure out how to work around it, with it!  I have learned what tweezers are best and what lighting works, but as I now enter my 40's there are days I am not as thorough, or probably miss a "hair" due to aging eyes!  However, I know and was reminded on Monday, that God made me who I am and while it is important to take care of ourselves, it is more important to be proud of our bodies.  My body might seem broken to some, and I am sure at times I am judged, but I am who I am.
http://realbeautysketches.dove.us  This is a great website!

We also have to remember that as we get older we not only become role models for the younger girls but we are also the one that will champion for them! Be confident be proud, take all your "flaws" and be OK with them! I am trying this, it may not be easy some days. But I can look at my little girl and know how important it is that I show her how to love herself, her WHOLE self!

Memakai Kot Anda

Where to begin! I could start "when I was young", but that seems a little to obvious. Although there was this time when I was young and I was not prepared!  If you are wondering why I am thinking about this time...must be because I had to tell my son to put his coat on today.  We have about 3 inches of snow and it is 20 degrees but I still must remind my 12 year old to put on a coat. You would think that reminding my children every day since November that they need a coat, one day- cold and snowy, no school because of the cold and snow, they might think it themselves. Ha...no way!
Back to my childhood memory (yep it is a radical one!) Picture this, 2 girls in I think 3rd grade, playing dress up- remember this was the 80's so that meant way to small plastic shoes, ridiculous dresses and I am sure make-up! Now picture these girls also with a ton of baby dolls! It gets better....crammed in the hatch back of red Mazada.  

 When the car stops working, yep in the middle of a busy intersection!
 Here we are Stephanie and myself dressed to the nine's following (hobbling in our heels)
across the busy intersection with our dolls in hand...no way could we leave those precious babies in the car, to get to a Wendy's to wait for help.  So I say yes children I do not care that we are going one mile down the road, you must wear your coat! Always be prepared!
I am in the throws of parenting pre-teens and while I think that should mean that they should be able to make some wise decisions...ha again! I am as silly for thinking that as I looked with my heels when I was 8! As I am typing this I was asked what time they had to go to bed...seriously, has that changed in the last 24 hours? Do they really think by asking me each night that I might say oh-tonight it will be 10 or whatever, you choose! Maybe, if they had put their coats on, taken their vitamins, brushed their teeth....without me having to tell them, maybe just maybe I would say 10, not really, but it might cross my mind! I don't have to worry about that though! Tomorrow I will say it all over again, maybe I should learn it in a different language!! Now that would be fun!

memakai kot anda

that is put on your coat in Malay! hmmm I am going to work on that! Cannot wait to see their faces!

Why Radical Seasons of Life?

I had written a blog a few years ago, when we were going through the adoption process of our daughter.  I really enjoyed the outlet of writing, getting my feelings out and receiving advice, words of wisdom...since then we have adopted another child and well my life just seemed to busy to write.  Last week though I realized how much I missed it, it is a sense of therapy for me! We all need some type of therapy right?

I posted on Facebook that I missed it and that I wanted to start writing again, but needed some ideas of where to take it.  My sister-in-law Brenda started suggesting titles, one of them was The Radical Seasons of Life...I loved it!  I thought about it for a few days and realized that my life has always had radical seasons.  This is who I am, this is what I create for myself.  I truly believe I have had a great life so far, I think that I have a pretty fun story,  actually I think everyone does!
 I love listening to people talk about their life, share what is going on, when I see on Facebook a triumph of a friend or a challenge someone is going through it is allowing me for a moment to be in their shoes virtually.   Having a cup of coffee with someone and listening to what they did the past weekend, I always find this fun! When someone shares their story of going to the Farmer's Market doesn't it always sound so intriguing, storybook like? Yet when I go, I feel well like I am buying produce! Or when you see a family photo posted some where and it has captured a great scene at the beach, you think WOW they have the life don't they!  But you were just at the beach yourself!
I also feel this way though as I look back through my life, I think wow I have done some pretty cool stuff!

This blog is my story, some posts might be from the past, some from the present, I will share about my journey, my seasons, and hope that I will capture an audience that will comment on theirs as well!